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    End of Days

    Reviewed by
    adamwatchesmovies@

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    So Bad it's Good Rating: 5/5

    "End of Days" is a silly end-of-the-year apocalyptic film, with some bad acting, a plot that really stretches all forms of plausibility and some explosions thrown in... because. In the last hour on New Year's Eve, 1999 a prophecy foretold by Satanists is about to come true: The devil himself (possessing the body of an unnamed banker played by Gabriel Byrne) seeks to impregnate a chosen woman named Christine York (Robin Tunney) in order to spawn the ant-Christ and bring about the titular End of Days. Our only hope does not rest in an order of elite Teutonic knights, or some specially trained monks, but rather in the hands of a washed-up, alcoholic ex-cop named Jericho Cane (Arnold Schwarzenegger) Could Beelzebub have met his match, or will "partying like its 1999" be the last thing we ever do?

    This movie is not particularly good, but I have some affection for it because it's often laughably ridiculous. Arnold Schwarzenegger tries to play a tormented cop that is at the end of his rope but whenever he has a dramatic scene, he's laughable. Some of the scenes that show him being pushed to the very edge end very briefly are followed with ridiculous moments of un-intentional comedy, like when he makes himself a breakfast that consists of a blend of random alcoholic drinks, Pepto Bismol, leftover Chinese takeout and a slice of floor pizza. You know the guy has some emotional turmoil when he eats like a garbage disposal! I also really enjoyed seeing the villains in the movie. The Satanists attempting to orchestrate the birth of the anti-Christ are the completely ineffectual, which means good news for us. Their plans don't really make any sense at all. They'll do things like leave characters alive or free to roam around instead of killing or capturing them. You'd think they'd take this gig seriously considering Satan is RIGHT THERE! Speaking of the Prince of Darkness himself, he's played as a cartoon character with very vaguely established demonic powers that appear and disappear whenever convenient for the plot. Some of the more memorable scenes in this film have to be seen to be believed.

    When it comes to the plot, the twists are easy to spot and the climax feels like it comes out of a completely different movie. I know Arnold Is the man, but when Jericho goes all-out with his guns blazing against the villains, I wonder if they didn't have a very different plot that was hastily re-written once the casting director gave the rest of the crew the "good news". One of the best parts of the movie is when we are explained how it's been foretold that the world will end in 1999. Once again, I could never do it justice with these short words, but needless to say anytime I can quote it with my friends we get a big laugh. It's so insane it feels like a joke.

    If you want a so-bad-it's-good end of the year/apocalypse/action film look further because there are so many things that are laughably bad in "End of Days" that you'll have a great time. (On Blu-ray, December 21 2012)

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    adamwatchesmovies@  30.6.2015 age: 26-35 2,867 reviews

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