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    Jupiter Ascending

    Reviewed by
    aiki@

    Well, this movie was rather disappointing. Let's see... where to begin. First off, the soundtrack was trying way too hard to incite the viewer to greater tension than the scenes warranted. Normally, I don't pay direct attention to the soundtrack, but in this movie it was actually kind of intrusive and distracting. Second, the casting was horrible! Mila Kunis and the gymnastic piece of wood acting as her love interest (aka Channing Tatum) had all the chemistry of sand mixed in butter. Sean Bean just looked tired. The chief psychopath of the Abrasax family trio made me snicker and roll my eyes. He was about as menacing as one of those yappy Pomeranians you want to punt across the room when it starts yipping and lunging at your ankle. When the Abrasax nut-job wasn't speaking so quietly you wanted to slap him and tell him to enunciate (which was almost all the time), he was suddenly yelling at the top of his lungs. Gah! Such awful acting! Okay, where was I... ? Oh, yeah, third: The story was just simply moronic. Jupiter Jones is thrust into a series of what should be mind-blowing circumstances but she passes relatively unperturbed through it all! She is repeatedly dropped from lethal heights; she is hunted, assaulted, shot at, lied to and generally abused by a collection of grotesque aliens; she is told utterly outrageous and incredible things are actually true, and she simply absorbs it all with impossible equanimity. We see all sorts of fantastic intergalactic locales, but the only place the story really loiters in is a galactic government-forms office! The movie literally jumps around the cosmos leaving me constantly thinking," What was that? " I liked the CGI, though.

    5
    HelpfulNot helpful  Reply
    aiki@  9.2.2015 age: 36-49 67 reviews

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